


Wherever you stray, I follow. I'm begging for you to take my hand

by UpAtMidnight



Category: The Wilds (TV 2020)
Genre: F/F, Hurt/Comfort, It's a yes from me, On the Island - Freeform, Sickfic, Vomiting, also there's a hint of fatin/leah, like a few sentences but it's there, the rest of the girls are there just not mentioned as much, toni being soft?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-18 07:36:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28863423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UpAtMidnight/pseuds/UpAtMidnight
Summary: The tension between Toni and Shelby in the past 24 hours had been strange, and Toni was sure it hadn’t gone unnoticed by the rest of the group. It was different to the usual tension between the two girls. Instead of bickering and fighting with the other girl, Toni was desperately trying to reach out to Shelby with small acts such as giving her water or offering to do jobs with her. She only wanted to reach past the wall of defense Shelby had built around herself, to be a light in the darkness for her.orAnother Shoni sickfic, this time it takes place on the island
Relationships: Shelby Goodkind/Toni Shalifoe
Comments: 10
Kudos: 265





	Wherever you stray, I follow. I'm begging for you to take my hand

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Applelion and Leapyearbaby29 for suggesting I do another Shoni sickfic with the roles reserved, I enjoyed writing this one.  
> Also this takes place after the plane flies over and before the lychee tree scene in 1x09
> 
> Enjoy reading!

The tension between Toni and Shelby in the past 24 hours had been strange, and Toni was sure it hadn’t gone unnoticed by the rest of the group. It was different to the usual tension between the two girls. Instead of bickering and fighting with the other girl, Toni was desperately trying to reach out to Shelby with small acts such as giving her water or offering to do jobs with her. She only wanted to reach past the wall of defense Shelby had built around herself, to be a light in the darkness for her. Especially after Shelby’s drunken breakdown the night before, Toni was becoming increasingly concerned for the girl. 

Once all the girls were awake, the morning after, Dot started to assign jobs for each girl to do. Her reasoning being that even if rescue was coming, they still had to take care of themselves and be prepared in case rescue didn’t come till the night. Toni knew it was also because Dot liked keeping busy, similar to herself really. They both became restless easily.

“Ok I’ll take inventory with Toni.” Dot said, moving her stone and Toni’s under the ‘inventory’ section,

“Shelby and Martha can get water, Nora and Leah can get firewood and Rachel and Fatin, you two can look for food.” 

As the girls filled cans with the boiled and cooled water, Toni kept glancing over at Shelby. She looked like shit if Toni was being brutally honest, her hair was half chopped, she was hungover, covered in dirt and sand. She also had a faraway look in her eye that Toni wished she understood.

“Hey uh Marty, I can go get water if you wanna stay back and just take inventory.” Toni offered, hoping to get some time to talk to Shelby.

“It’s okay Toni, I prefer going for the walk. Plus me and Shelby have some great conversations, right?” Martha turned to look at Shelby who’s attention was drawn back to the group upon hearing her name.

“Yeah of course.” Shelby said cheerily, plastering a wide smile on her face but Toni could see how it didn’t quite reach her eyes, that it seemed exhausting for Shelby to so much as smile.

Toni spent the morning with Dot taking inventory and drawing out the rest of the abandoned help sign in the sand. Dot had lost hope in them being rescued and as a result had never attempted to finish the sign drawn out in the sand. But after the plane had flown overhead the previous afternoon, she became more optimistic for their survival. So herself and Toni drew two large help signs in the sand, one on either end of the beach. They even used stones around the letters to make them clearer for anyone flying overhead.

The rest of the afternoon was spent with Dot and Toni building a makeshift shelter for the group with the slide from the plane that had washed up as the roof and held up by pieces of driftwood. They even managed to get a helping hand from Fatin, who seemed more willing to assist others now that the thought of rescue was more of a possibility than a mere concept that lost its strength with each passing day.

Once the shelter was finished, Toni sat digging in the sand, making patterns in it to distract herself when she saw Martha walking across the beach, carrying water bottles in her arms. She flopped down on the sand beside Toni and passed the bottles to Dot who began boiling the water.

“I forget how long that walk to the waterfall is sometimes.” Martha groaned, leaning her head on Toni’s shoulder. Toni wrapped her arm around her friend’s shoulder,

“I did offer to go instead, you know.”

“Yeah I should’ve taken you up on that.” 

“Don’t worry, we’ll go back to civilization and have water readily available for us in no time.” Toni assured her. After a few minutes of watching Dot boil the water, Toni noticed the absence of the resident blonde girl of the group.

“Hey Marty, where’s Shelby? Did she not come back with you?”

“She stayed back at the waterfall to have some time to herself, said she’d be back before it gets dark.” Martha mumbled, obviously falling asleep on Toni’s shoulder.

“Ok cool.” Toni tried to act relaxed but internally she was worried about Shelby being by herself. She let Martha lie in her lap and fall asleep while she stared at the fire in front of her.

The evening came quickly and the girls sat around the fire eating what they liked to call their dinner, which consisted of half a protein bar each, some berries that had been found earlier in the day and water. However, Shelby was still absent from the group, which worried Toni as it was getting darker and darker by the minute.

After a few minutes of silence between the group, Toni cleared her throat.

“Is anyone worried that Shelby isn’t back yet? I mean it’s getting dark.”

“She probably decided to stay in the forest tonight, instead of trying to find her way back in the dark.” Nora reasoned, glancing up from her notebook to look at Toni across the fire.

“I mean she probably needs some time to herself, she wasn’t in a good place yesterday.” Rachel added.

“Yeah.” Toni said quietly. She sat there, running her hands through the sand and let the conversation continue without her, not wanting to contribute anything. What she missed though was Fatin sitting beside her and looking at the girl curiously.

She was lying on her back staring at the stars when Toni noticed the stars were becoming less frequent in the sky with dark angry clouds covering them. Not even a minute after she noticed this, the clouds opened and rain started pelting down on the girls, quickly extinguishing the fire as it went. 

“For fuck sake.” Dot exclaimed, grabbing anything that would be ruined by the rain and throwing them into the shelter. All the girls huddled together under the emergency slide and hoped for the rain to pass quickly. However, it quickly became apparent that the rain would be sticking around when a crack of lightning struck the water on the horizon, accompanied by a roll of thunder not long after. Martha yelped at the sound and threw her arms around Toni. Toni held the girl close to her and whispered words of reassurance, knowing Martha’s hatred for storms.

“You’re okay Marty, you’re okay.” She said over and over again in a hushed voice.

Once the thunder and lightning had finished, all the girls managed to fall asleep under the shelter. All of them except for Toni, who couldn’t let herself sleep while knowing that Shelby was out alone in the rain that seemed to be getting stronger with every passing minute.

She didn’t remember ever falling asleep but Toni woke up feeling groggy, her eyes heavy with sleep. She looked around and let her eyes adjust to the darkness that surrounded her. It was still raining heavily so Toni assumed she hadn’t been asleep for long. She sat up to see Fatin already awake, rubbing her thumb across the back of Leah’s hand who was asleep in her lap.

“Couldn’t sleep?” Toni yawned while looking at the girl beside her.

“Leah had a nightmare, thought I’d stay up for a bit to make sure she was okay. You?” Fatin never looked up from the girl asleep in her lap. As if she’d disappear if not being taken care of.

“I don’t know, just awake I guess.”

“What’s going on with you and Shelby?” Fatin asked bluntly.

“I don’t know what-”

“Oh come on Toni.” She interrupted, “Two days ago you couldn’t stand each other but now you’re offering to be in the buddy system with her and you seem genuinely concerned that she’s not back.”

“Can I not be worried about her without being asked a million questions? Fuck.” Toni said angrily, not wanting her growing feelings for Shelby to be questioned by anyone.

“Whatever you say.” Fatin sighed, clearly not liking Toni’s answer but not daring to push the conversation any further.

The two sat in silence as the sun rose over the next hour and Toni watched as the sky began to clear and the rain came to an end. Just as the rest of the girls started to stir, Toni decided to go find Shelby herself. She offered a quick explanation to the rest of the girls and hurried off towards the forest. The ground of the forest was wet and muddy from the rain and Toni could feel her feet slipping slightly as she walked. 

After a few minutes of walking, Toni saw a flash of blonde stumbling through the forest.

"Shelby?" Toni shouted, trying to get the blonde's attention.

"Toni." Shelby cried out, looking around to try to find the brunette.

Toni ran over to the girl quickly,

“Hey, I was worried about you.” She said softly, approaching the girl who was clutching her necklace tightly, but she quickly felt her stomach drop when she saw how Shelby was shivering and how her eyes were red and puffy from crying. Not to mention how pale she looked, even with the sunburn.

“Shelby, what happened?”

“I got lost and I, it got real dark so I stayed in the forest but it started raining and it got real cold and I-” Shelby’s panicked rambling was interrupted by Toni stepping closer to the blonde and placing her hands on her shoulders, trying to ground the girl.

“Hey shh, you’re ok. You’re ok.” She said in a steady tone, not wanting to cross a line with Shelby.

Before Toni could react, Shelby wrapped her arms around her and dropped her head to the brunette’s shoulder, shaking from a mixture of the cold and her tears that had begun flowing as soon as she saw the brunette. Toni held her close and rubbed her back, trying to bring some heat and comfort back to the girl. Shelby’s tears were soaking her sweatshirt but she didn’t care, all that mattered was making sure that Shelby was alright.

“I don’t feel good Toni, I really don’t feel good.” Shelby gasped out between sobs.

“Let’s get some heat in you, come on.” Shelby clung to Toni as they started making their way back to camp, while mumbling something about feeling cold over and again. After a moment, Toni stopped and crouched down in front of Shelby.

"Come on, hop on. It'll be quicker." 

Shelby climbed onto Toni's back with no hesitation, wrapping her arms around her and resting her chin on the brunette's shoulder.

Toni walked carefully through the mud, repeating words of comfort to the blonde as she cried.

As they approached the girls who were sitting in and around the shelter, Fatin turned to greet them, a wide smile on her face.

“Ay Shelby you’re- oh shit what happened.” Fatin’s face dropped when she saw Toni carrying Shelby, who looked scarily pale.

“Shelby, what the hell happened to you?”.” Dot asked, approaching them while the rest of the girls sat up, looking at the blonde with concern. When Shelby didn’t respond and let her head fall into Toni’s shoulder, the brunette spoke up.

“She said something about getting lost and then staying in the forest when it was raining.” Toni lowered Shelby off her back and held her close as they sat down on the sand beside each other.

“I don’t feel good, it’s so cold.” Shelby said quickly, clinging to Toni's side.

“We gotta get a fire started, try to warm her up.” Dot stood up and made her way to the dry firewood she had put under the shelter the night before. Toni went to go help her but was stopped when she felt Shelby tighten her grip around her waist.

“Please don’t leave.” Shelby pleaded, looking up at Toni with wide eyes.

“I won’t, I’ll stay right here.” Toni spoke softly. 

Shelby lay down with her head in Toni’s lap, shutting her eyes tightly. Toni ran her hand through Shelby’s chopped hair and placed one of Fatin’s jacket over her to keep her warm. She looked up to see Dot and Leah making a fire and tried her best to avoid Fatin’s questioning look upon seeing Shelby curled up with her, while also trying not to laugh at how Martha was staring at them, as if her brain had short circuited and couldn’t quite understand what was happening between the two girls.

Once a decent fire had been started, Toni got Shelby to sit up, her back against Toni’s chest, and to heat up from the flames burning in front of her. 

“I don’t feel good.” Shelby muttered again. She hadn’t said much else since she had gotten back to camp, repeating those four words and “don’t go”, over and over again. 

Toni became increasingly worried when an hour had passed and Shelby was still shaking and not saying anything else.

“Dot, what’s wrong with her?” Toni asked worriedly, looking at her friend for advice.

“I’d say a mix of drinking way too much, not having eaten since yesterday and a night out in the rain with no sleep has fucked her up. Not to mention she’s not doing great mentally.”

“Fuck.” Toni rested her chin on Shelby’s shoulder, holding her closer while staring ahead at the fire.

“If she’s still bad in an hour, we’ll look at the med kit and see what will help.” Dot said, looking at the blonde with sympathy.

Toni wasn’t sure how much time had passed, all she knew was that the sun was now high up in the sky and Shelby had finally stopped shaking. The two girls were leaning against a piece of driftwood with Shelby curled into Toni’s side. Although Shelby had stopped shaking from the cold, Toni could feel the heat of a fever radiating off of her.

Dot gave Shelby a protein bar, insisting she had to get some food into her to see if it would help her feel better. 

Not even five minutes had passed and Shelby was vomiting the food into the sand, while Toni held her hair and rubbed small circles on her back.

“Well fuck.” Dot sighed who was watching the two girls while sitting next to Fatin.

“Dot we gotta give her some meds.” Toni looked up with tears in her eyes, concern for the girl beside her aching deep in her chest.

Once Shelby had swallowed whatever medicine Dot thought would help her, she lay down on the sand, curling into a ball. The rest of the girls decided to go to the waterfall, in an attempt to try freshen up and get more water, leaving Shelby and Toni alone beside the shelter

“Toni?” Shelby spoke weakly as she turned to look at the brunette.

“Hey what’s up? What do you need?” Toni was immediately alert, scooting closer to the blonde.

“Can you just hold me? Please?” Toni had never seen Shelby so vulnerable before, Toni may have had her own walls but Shelby had just as much, possibly more. So to see her, looking so small and weak, was a shock to Toni’s system.

“Of course.” Toni lay down on the sand and Shelby moved over to her so her head was laying on Toni’s chest and her arm draped across her torso. Toni wrapped her left arm around Shelby’s shoulder’s and took the hand lying on her stomach in her own, intertwining their fingers.

“Is this ok?” Toni asked, her voice barely a whisper. Shelby nodded in response.

“How are you feeling?”

“Not good, everything is spinning.” Shelby admitted, her voice hoarse.

“Why don’t you try and sleep, it might help.” Toni watched as Shelby let her eyes drift close and felt her breath even out as she quickly fell asleep. 

Once Shelby was asleep, Toni let herself relax for the first time in hours, knowing that Shelby was safe. She quickly realised just how exhausted she herself was, having stayed up the majority of the night before. Closing her eyes, Toni listened to the ocean hitting the shores and Shelby’s soft snores as sleep overtook her.

The sound of voices and the fire burning is what eventually woke Toni. The sun had long since set and Toni noticed how someone had placed a jacket over herself and Shelby to act like a blanket. Shelby was still fast asleep on Toni’s chest and the brunette was captured by how peaceful Shelby looked. It was probably the most relaxed she had ever seen her.

Eventually, Toni moved out from underneath Shelby and stood up, brushing sand off her as she went. She took off the sweatshirt she had been wearing, bunched it up and placed it under Shelby’s head to act as a pillow. 

“How long was I out?” Toni asked as she joined the rest of the girls who were sitting around the fire.

“Long enough that we’ve been back a few hours.” Leah said, passing a water bottle to Toni. Toni took a long drink from it, not having realised how thirsty she was.

“So… you and Shelby?” Fatin wiggled her eyebrows at the smaller girl, a smirk on her face.

“Yeah don’t mention it to her until she says something first, I don’t know how okay she is with being open about it just yet.” 

“Well I’m happy for you two at least.” Fatin smiled and Toni noticed how her eyes drifted over to Leah while speaking.

The rest of the girls voiced their agreement with Fatin’s statement and Toni was grateful for how relaxed they were about the situation. After an hour or so of talking quietly around the fire, swapping stories as they always did, slowly all of the girl’s went to sleep one by one.

Toni stayed up watching the fire and listening to the sounds of nightlife on the island when she saw Shelby sit up over on the other side of the fire. Her head was turning in every direction frantically when Toni heard her calling out.

“Toni? Where are you?” 

Toni rushed over and knelt down in front of the blonde, trying to get her frantic eyes to meet her own.

“Hey hey I’m right here, what’s up? What’s happening?”

The blonde was shaking and her breathing had become shallow and rapid.

“I thought you, I thought you left. I thought you were gone, I-” Shelby managed to rush out before Toni wrapped her arms around her.

“I’m sorry, I’m right here baby, I’m not leaving you. I was just sitting by the fire. I’m not going anywhere. ” Shelby fell into Toni’s embrace and clung to her for a few minutes while she got her breathing under control. Toni placed soft kisses on Shelby’s temple, which seemed to relax the girl.

“Thank you, for taking care of me.” Shelby sniffled, leaning closer to Toni.

“Of course Shelbs.”

Once Shelby had calmed down, the two girls lay back down in the sand in the same position as earlier. Shelby’s fever had gone down significantly but Toni could see how tired she was. While Toni rubbed her thumb over the back of Shelby’s hand that was lying on her stomach, Shelby turned to look at her.

“I liked it when you called me baby.”

“Yeah?” A smile crept across Toni’s face as she looked down at the blonde.

“Yeah, it’s real nice. It makes you softer.” Shelby’s southern accent had somehow become thicker in her exhausted state.

“Don’t let the others know, can’t let them know I’ve gone all soft.” Toni joked.

Shelby laughed quietly before turning so her head was resting in the crook of Toni’s neck.

“Goodnight babe.” She said, slightly muffled.

“Goodnight baby.” Toni said softly. She played with Shelby’s hair until the girl fell asleep and then let herself fall asleep, holding the girl she had more feelings for than she knew how to articulate.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> I did not intend for this to be as long as it was but hey, things happen. I hope you enjoyed reading it and as always, any suggestions or prompts are welcome in the comments or you can message me on tumblr: http://upatmidnightstuff.tumblr.com/


End file.
